A friend of mine once told me I could have a shopping spree one day and to consider it a "treat yo self" kind of day. All I would have to do if I questioned myself regarding a purchase is whisper "treat yo self" and then BAM! I could sway myself to buy whatever it is I was on the fence about. This is that whole I-got-a-promotion-at-work-I-earned-this kind of attitude. No problem. I love it.
This is not to say that retail therapy is really a therapy. In fact, that mentality is a problem in and of itself. But the point remains that it is OK to treat yourself to happiness.
This one day experience became more frequent...
....then it became a "treat yo self" month.
....then a "treat yo self" quarter of a year.
I realize now that it has become part of me, but only in the best sense. Treat yourself. This is just another tiny answer to all of those age-old problems we face on a daily basis.
Like...
1. Treat Yo Self... to a healthy lifestyle.
Notice the word lifestyle. By now we all know that it is NOT OK to be 5' 0" and 700 lbs. Scientifically speaking you pretty much have to WORK to be lazy enough to get that big. Be smart about your body. Should you be VS model thin? That's up to you. Treat yo self. To a you that feels good and is legitimately happy (not content! happy!!) with who you are, inside (like, organ-wise not soul-wise, although be good with that, too) and on the outside. But maintain good health within the range that is in the studied, proven "good health" range. Make a conscious effort to make a healthy lifestyle. Going with what's the fad is fading. Make long-term, accessible goals. You don't have to be an organic only, from the ground to the plate kind of person to live an overall well-balanced, healthy life. Just be smart about your body and what's good for it. Like my dad always said/says "a little bit is ok, a lot is too much". Treat yo self.
2. Treat Yo Self... to a positive work environment.
In my experience (albeit limited due to my age), if you are unhappy at work, you should probably find a new job. We spend wayyyyy too much time in the office, classroom, restaurant, etc. during the course of our lives to be unhappy when it comes to work. And most of the time those that are unhappy are too happy to share their feelings on the matter. If you are one of those that goes to work being bummed, works bummed, and goes home bummed, you've probably bummed someone else out during the day as well. Make it what you want it to be. If you wished someone came in the office singing at the top of their lungs, smiling, and waving, and just being pleasant... be that person. Yes, it may take effort. If this is the first time someone is telling you life takes effort, I am happy to be that person. Sometimes it takes effort to make life what you want it to be. If you know you're not a positive person.... BECOME ONE! It feels great!!!!! Just like negativity can spread like a virus, so can a smile and a "good morning". Who knows, you might end up liking your job just a tad bit more than you did before. Treat yo self.
3. Treat Yo Self... to productive relationships.
This is one of those toughies. Most of the time we can see exactly what we need to do in our relationships...once we've gone through it. Something about hind sight being 20/20? So, we've got to work with what we have in the present, and worry about that 20/20 when it comes time.
The word "perfect" does not exist. Go ahead and mentally move that word to your brain's trash bin, listen for the gah-lunk sound, and wipe your hands clean of it. Nothing is going to be perfect.
In your "lover" relationship: You'll be happy...most of the time. You'll fight... hopefully only sometimes. You'll give the silent treatment. You'll be passive-agressive. You'll be you and you'll deal with things however you deal with them. And that my friends is the key variable. You. Ask any mathematician or scientist. A variable is the part of the equation that can be manipulated to alter the outcome of the problem. If you want a kiss from your man every day when he gets home from work, plant yourself at the door at 5:30pm with your best "kiss me you fool" stance and give him a what fo' smack on the lips as he walks in the door. You have to at least consider the difference in the outcome of your situation if you were to change something you do. This mentality is and probably will always be a work in progress, even for me. Mind-reading cannot be part of your equation. Sure, you should communicate your wants with your partner. But at the end of the day, sometimes you've got to be the changing variable in order to get what you want out of your relationship.
Disclaimer: If you hate everything about the other half of your relationship... you should probably end it. They probably do not participate in the positive parts of this whole list, anyway, and need to go.
In your friendships: Treat yourself to positive, uplifting friends. Negativity is a virus and if you surround yourself with it, you'll get infected. We all have to vent, we all have to be that negative person for a moment sometimes, but if it is a consistent part of your friend's personality, separate yourself from it immediately.
Be open to different types of friends. Have your mall friend, your hiking friend, someone to go to the beach with, someone to laze around and watch movies with. This won't always be the same person because we all have different interests. Find the friends that go with each of your interests.
Family: They say we don't choose our family. I say, yes we do. So treat those you think of as family well and show them your love.
Treat yo self.
4. Treat Yo Self... to a good life.
Overall, we are in control of our own lives. Sure, just like the Earth, meteors impact us. We try to fend them off with our protective layers, but they still leave marks. But we've got to keep going. We have to keep spinning through life. And we have to do it in the best way possible for us. If it'll make your day to have that Chick-fil-a sandwich with a coke, I mean, just do it. If it will make you happy to do drugs, you need to read number one again. If you hate your boss, get a new job! OR, find something in them that you can relate to and cope with. Just like you, they probably fight demons day in and out and are just trying to find a balance between it all. Make the choice to be happy. No one else can choose if for you. And you can't choose that for anyone else.
Many smarter people have touched on what I am trying to get to today, so I'll leave you with these words, since they are sorely more to the point than my short novel above:
"Be the change you want to see in the world" ~ Ghandi
